Amanda Paige.

I now start a series of posts about specific people that mean the world to me.
This one is for Paigee. She's my roomie, but mostly my best friend.

I met Paige the very first day of college. It was right after move-in day and classes hadn't begun yet. All freshmen were supposed to attend a series of pointless activities. As we entered the courtyard that morning, we were randomly separated into small groups. Yepp, Paige and I were placed into the same group. Throughout the morning we just kind of drifted together, awkwardly eating lunch together in the cafeteria and making small talk. I would have never known back then where our friendship would lead,   and all the memories we would make over the next year. I ran into Paige a few more times that first week (basically wherever there was free food). We exchanged numbers and decided to eat lunch together on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. This is where our friendship grew.

Let me just pause for a second and say that Paige and I are ridiculously similar. We often joke and say that we are the same person. One of us will say something and the other one will say "I was just thinking that". This happens literally every day.

So anyways, through each lunch we would start to feel more comfortable and open up to each other. Our personalities would reveal themselves and I began to realize how similar we were. Then we started hanging out on weekends, I met all of her other friends, and the rest is history.

Paige is one of the closest friends I've ever had. She's just easy to talk to. She listens to everything and most of the time she can give you a new perspective, something you've never thought about before. I've always felt open with her, even after only knowing her for a month.

One of Paige's best characteristics is that she refuses to be brought down by negative things. Homegirl has dealt with a lot of crap from stupid boys that don't realize how amazing she is. And yes, I used "Homegirl" to make her laugh while reading this. But seriously, I'm fed up with men that don't treat her the way she deserves. But even though it's hard at times, Paige doesn't let it get to her. She's always able to find something to lift her spirits. As Anna has said before, Paige loves life. She loves to live. There's no other way I can put that. She finds new perspectives, and she always has a reason to laugh.

99% of my best college memories so far include Paige. We've been to some interesting places and met a lot of peculiar people. Even the times when we didn't go anywhere, just sitting on the balcony or the couch watching tv, we've had fun. I'm so blessed to have her in my life.

YOU DA BEST #BLOGLESSPAIGEEPOO.

-Kurt.

Positivity.

Sometimes it takes a slap in the face in order for you to realize something. That's what happened to me recently.

I had gotten myself into a dark phase, feeling cynical and bitter about a lot of things. I focused too much on everything that had gone wrong in my life, convincing myself that nothing would ever work out in my favor. I compared my life to others and hoarded bitterness and jealousy. I was miserable.
Then, one of my oldest friends came along. He always listened to me all throughout high school when I needed someone to vent and complain to about the same things over and over. I know it was annoying. But he always answered. And even though we've drifted apart, he still answers. Even when I call him at 3am.
So anyways, I saw him this past weekend. Of course I eventually blurt out complaints about my "sad life", turning things into a pity party. And when my friend responded, it hit me (no, he didn't literally hit me. Metaphorically.) Basically, he told me I was being annoying. That I needed to stop worrying so much, and that my negative perspective was only going to bring me down and hurt me more. He gave me a speech that slapped me in the face. I don't remember everything that he said, but I do remember what I got out of it.
If you have a negative view of life, relationships, or the future in general, then you will never be happy. You have to switch your mindset. If you think positively, you will be happy no matter what bad circumstances come your way. You have to keep your head up and find your own silver lining. It may rain for a week straight, but blue skys are coming. You have to hope. You have to have faith. And you have to trust that there is a greater plan for you in this world.

So I just wanted you to know that I was in an emotionally/spiritually dark place before, and I'm trying to change my mindset about everything. When I told my previously mention friend that I would try to stop complaining, he said "I'm pretty sure you said that the last time I talked to you." Maybe I did, but this time I mean it. I was making myself miserable before, and now I know that I can make myself happy. It's all a choice.
"It's not about the cards you've been dealt, it's how well you play them."

So far, I've had a way better week because of this. I'm going to start going to Brainerd Baptist more on Sundays, because I've fallen out of the habit in college and I realized that I really miss going to church on Sunday mornings. I've also started going to yoga classes. I really enjoy it because it calms me down and makes me feel relaxed in the middle of a busy week.
That's all for now.

Peace.

New Year's Resolution.

So, my life is pretty much a series of incomplete events. For example, I have started writing blogs and just saved them as drafts and never really got around to finishing them and posting them. It's a problem of mine. I rarely finish anything that I start.

But one of my New Year's Resolutions is to read and write more for fun (I know I know Nerd Alert ok shush I love English). Over Christmas Break I finished reading 4 books and started on a 5th. I had forgotten how much I loved to read because college gets in the way and takes over my life and I've pushed aside some of the things that I really enjoyed doing.
I also used to love writing. I was going to take a creative writing class this semester, but when I went to it on Tuesday it seemed like a giant waste of time. Basically, the whole class was busy work and we would only be writing one short story over the whole semester. When I took creative writing in high school we would turn in short stories every 3 days. So I dropped the class because I didn't want to deal with it honestly and I didn't think I would enjoy it. However, I still intend to write more this year. That includes this blog (Hi. How's it goin.)

I feel like I'll have more free time because my classes are all in the afternoon. So maybe I'll actually take the time to go somewhere and write for an hour, just because. Or maybe I'll just end up sleeping until noon. Lolz, I love sleepin. Anyways, I want to take time to do the things I love so that I don't forget why I'm here. I don't want to be miserable this semester obsessing and stressing over my school work.

I know that this has just been a bunch of rambling but. Stay with me. Maybe one of these days I'll have a thought that's equivalent to E=MC^2
LOL JK I HATE MATH/PHYSICS/NUMBERS.

Oh and here's the classes that I'm taking because I know you were all wondering and waiting at the edge of your seats:
Intro to Mass Communication, Shakespeare, British Literature, French 2.
But basically just French because it's taking over my life and I have to go to class 4 days a week and do all this online junk it's time consuming.

So in conclusion, this blog was written in stream of consciousness similar to James Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I hated that book, add that to my previous list of books I hate. Ducks. My mother is a fish. Literature references.

Ok I need to quit now bye :)